Take a moment to find the exit nearest you, and remember it may be behind you. Sometimes we overlook the most obvious potential mates because they are behind us, and we can’t see out the backs of our heads. Make it a habit to turn around whenever you think of it.
In the event of loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the panel in front of you. Be sure to secure your own mask before assisting others. Always look out for number one. You can’t be in a relationship if you already died of oxygen deprivation.
If you’re seated in an emergency exit row please review the responsibilities for emergency exit seating on the back of the safety information card. If you’re unable to perform these functions just let us know and we’d be happy to find you another seat. You can change to a different row, but you’ll never be able to change the row itself, because those seats are bolted down. An emergency exit row will always be an emergency exit row, so if you want to stretch your legs out, don’t cry when you have to be the first one down the slide in the event of a water landing.
Your mobile phones and other electronic devices should be turned off during takeoff. If you’re dating a person who won’t stop looking at their phone, have him arrested by an air marshal.
Keep your seatbelt fastened at all times, even if the seatbelt sign is turned off. Sometimes planes drop like 1,000 for no reason and people break their necks on the cabin ceiling. Maintain constant vigilance over your heart.
Remember, most seat cushions can be used as flotation devices. If you have sex with guys who are already your friends, you don’t have to go out and buy a life jacket.