Category Archives: Random As Well As Irrelevant

No Sleep In Brooklyn: Insomnia Returns

I haven’t had regular insomnia since I was a junior in college living in a weird boarding house and not seeing any friends because they had all turned 21 and gone into bars and never come out of them. As of … Continue reading

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The long weekend is the loneliest number

People like to go on and on about how great weekends are, when really weekends can be pretty lonely. Especially long weekends. Especially in New York. What makes New York weekends so lonely is how much importance people place on … Continue reading

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you are here to be swallowed up.

One false move is all you need to start thinking seriously about leaving New York, since everyone arrives with the idea of leaving already firmly implanted in their minds. They don’t really expect it to go well, so that when … Continue reading

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If You See A Suspicious Package On The Platform Or Train

No one wants to ride the subway with someone they know. When you ride the subway with a friend — or God help you an acquaintance — you have to talk to them. The problem with this is that since … Continue reading

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We Took All The Drugs So You Don’t Have To*

Dear Editor: I’m out with my friend Amy, and we just had a great idea for a column that Magazine might be really be interested in. It’s called “We Took The Drugs So You Don’t Have To.*”  This column would … Continue reading

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Read IT ALL here

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canceritis

I always think when I get a headache or a weird bruise it means I might have cancer. This is called canceritis not to be confused with cancer which is called cancer. Canceritis is not deadly, but can be annoying. … Continue reading

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14 Other Life Hacks

Save your knuckles by using a screwdriver to punch a hole in a wall.  Put the soda tab in the can. When you’ve drunk everything in there, the tab will rattle and you’ll know there’s no more soda. Tell your … Continue reading

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xo

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The End of Courtship?: A Close Reading

I recently read an article in The New York Times called “The End of Courtship?” The premise was that dating in New York sucks because 20-something men are too cowardly, horny, sought after, and dumb to ask women on proper dates … Continue reading

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